The wheel of time rolls on

So it's been a serious while again, but times have been a-changing. Mägíç lând has been invaded, my happy land has been invaded by the demons of misery, There's a lot of movement in life and death is passing by every now and then. Life and death coexisting like the paradox of the Schrödinger's cat. Exactly this is what kept me from writing all these time. School, family drama, studying, people.... it all just drained me of any form of natural energy. Of course it's not all drama, I also got to enjoy the pleassures of life in making music, sitting around fires, being creative with dreadlocks, enjoying life with friends. But sometimes the negatives are so overwhelming, that you fee like your life is being lived by it. And that is why I'm writing you a blog at this ridiculous time.

I'm not going to tell you everything that happened, it's just a long never ending tale of drama, and probably not interesting at all. But I'll tell the core to get to what I want to make clear.
My grandma had a severe stroke this november. My grandpa has a severe form of cancer, it's terminal. My grandma is one of the strongest women ever, and a great example to me. She never gives up, even though they didn't think that after het stroke she would wake up from het coma. But she did, and she in a carehome, fighting her way through all what's holding her back. She never fails to smile when anyone she knows comes to visit, and she is still the beautiful, smart and brave woman she always was. My grandpa is the most stubborn person I know. He was living at home as long as he possibly could, but last week disaster struck. He is in a lot of pain, got medicins, and started hallucinating. He sees things like cats, dogs, rabbits, paintings coming at him, knights, but also my little sister and me... So eventually, when he again called us so confused, not knowing where he was or where his wife (my grandma, of course) was, we decided it's time for him to go to the hospice, a place where only terminally ill people are.
But still, he calls us every morning at 6, mad at us, why did we put him there? This place is no good, he always says. But it is, it's the best that is out there for him...

To be honest, it's hard not to get mad at my grandpa, for the things he do. But of course I'm not, thinking about his situation. Sometimes your body is nothing more than something unwilling you have to drag around. So, is it any good that humans live this long, through all of their pains and deaths all around them. Is it really a positive thing, that we can extend lifes far beyond the age that's good for us. In the past, people didn't live to see 110, they lived until their bodies started to decline. They didn't have medic ins, and died without suffering a lot on beforehand and having to go to some kind of hospital or carehome, just to die there. But then, on the other hand, it still is your family. Of course you don't want them to die, you would miss them... But now more then ever, I see how selfish this is. You shouldn't keep people alive with medicins and such, making them into some kind of zombie, just so we can visited them and pretend like nothing happened. It would've been so much better if there was just no chance of people getting this old, and they would just die peacefully when the time si there.

But in this case, it just happened. They are still alive and we love our grandparents, and we want to take care of them until they can leave their flesh barriere behind them and rejoin in better places (I like to believe that what's beyond this life, is better than this world).

Life can ironically drain you of any lifepowers in you. In some cases, you can't help this from happening. So when it happens, be sure to take go care of yourself. Do things you like, in my case I go to the forest make music, and talk to the amazing friends I have, who are always there for me. New friends, old friends, and of course my love. Unfortunately, for me it's also final-exams time, which makes it harder to do this. But I found out that focussing on that goal of passing my exams so I can escape my school, is also a good way to take my mind of things. So if you are in a situation like this, or any situation in which you feel lived and drained, try to take your time to live your life, because it helps you to get on track again. Crying is good, but in the end, just crying gets you nowhere.

I'm going to clean up Mägíç lând now. Birds will sing, flowers will blossom, trees will grow, and we will live. Life is good, it just sometimes has its weird ways of testing you. The goal is to keep breathing, keep living, and to never stop dancing and singing.

Oh yeah, on a happier note, who will be at Castlefest this year? We will of course be there, and because of the great group of people I met last year on camping Vogelzang, we'll be sleeping there again (the Castlefest camping seems kind of lame, with all of those rules. We like to make music deep into the night, drink with friends, enjoy a variety of good stuff, and just have fun with friend you might not see that often). I'm really looking forward to it! I miss my home, besides Mägíç lând.

Thanks for reading this, it helped me a lot to write it off. And to know that all of you are out there, and together we make a world within this world. A world where people know that fairies exist, and where people live together, in perfect harmony.

Love and hugs
Mayflower