Dream on

It's been a while since I blogged. A lot happened, good stuff mostly. But in this blog, the past isn't important. Since this blog will be about the future. I live in the here and the now pretty much all the time. I do what I think is good for my life, and what will make me happy. I started studying archaelogy 10 weeks ago, and I am really enjoying myself a lot. Me and my love live together in Deventer, and we are very happy. But I can't help to think about the future. I can't help but thinking about the time I finish studying, and having to work a regular job...

No matter how much I love archaeology, I'm simply not made to work a 9 to 5 job, and have people telling me what to do. I do not do well with authority at all. I need to be my own boss. You might say: 'Get a grip, everyone has to work, everyone has to make money.' But I will not allow my life to be led by 'have to-s'. I need my freedom. And I will not forfeit it for anything. I like being my own boss, I'm simply not a follower, but a leader.

So what do I do. Quit my studies and live on the streets? Nah, that's not my plan. What I want for the future is doing what I love to do. Waking up in the morning and doing something I really want to do at that time. I want to leave my mark on this earth (In a not idiot-monkey-poluting-way) Art, music, happiness. I'm thinking as I'm writing, and writing as I'm thinking. Because I know my goal, now it's time to figure out how to get there.

And that is why I will not quit my studies and forfeit everything I have. I know my destination, I need to find my path. It's like a big maze. You run into dead ends, things that don't work out the way you want them to. And you'll see really pretty spots. A big oak in the middle of the maze, like someone who will watch over you and guide you through the maze. I think life is the exact same thing. You meet people who inspire you, and you'll meet people who will dissapoint you. But all lead to that one goal.

But what is that goal? It's leading a happy and free life. Doing what I want. And being my own boss. For me doesn't consist of one thing. You don't have just one thing you like either, do you? So what I want right now:
I would love to work with horses. My own stables with 5 horses or so, which I can use (I don't like that word here, because you don't 'use'animals, but you catch my drift) to help people connect to the earth again (Horses do that  you know...). You could say like, a therapeutic mini-thingy with horses.
Also, I love art. I don't mean the art you see in the common musea nowadays. But art as in, photos. Creating another world, showing beauty, fantasies... Making something that is completely up to you. For a long time I have been interested in how some make-up artists can paint models and make something that doesn't exist in this world. Something new, something from your dreams. But I would also like to model more often. Being the one giving expression to your surroundings and the clothes on your body, the paint on your face. I modelled with a professional big shoot for the first time yesterday, and I really enjoyed it, and decided it's something I want to do more often.
Of course there's all the amazing other art forms too, but this form just grabbed me.
Music, I love music. I don't care what happens, but this has always been in my life. I don't care if I'll ever become a 'professional' (what is a professional anyway?). I just want to keep making music, and I can. Unlike other things, there's nothing I have to do to achieve this goal.
Creativity. I want to make things. I don't know what exactly. I want to make clothes, but I don't know what else. I'll see what comes on my path, and I'll see what will inspire me.

Archaeology. I love it. I want to keep on doing it. But I'm unfit to work a normal scheme every day, and to have to listen to others. I'll see how things work out with this one as well...

For the next four years I will be studying archaelogy. And it will be great. It will be my path, it will be what I need to come to my goal. But eventually, I want to make my dreams come true. And I know they will. The next four years will not be a waste, and they will bring me new dreams, insights and possibilities. I will walk my path with pride and happiness, and I shall take every chance I get to get closer to my dreams. And who knows where that will bring me. I can't wait.

So this is my story for now, but I know everyone has one of their own. Remember what you said what they asked you all those years ago: "What you wanted to become when you grow up?" You would dream away about everything you wanted to do. Remember that! And dream like that! See what you want to do, and see no limitations. Because your dreams can take you anywhere. The world will try to hold you back, but that's ok. They will be the dead ends in your maze. But you'll find a way. Here in Mägíç Lând, dreams are reality. And reality is just a fog. In which I am not seen.

Love and freedom
May the fog(gy) faerie.