We're all fighting. You can be a flower power peace loving hippie in every inch of your body, but we're still fighting. Fighting to make a living, no, to live. We have to find our own spot on the earth, and we have to make it count. It's been a while, a LONG while since I kept you informed about the happenings in my Mägíç Lând. But really, who was I to report? Sorrows had hit my Mägíç Lând... And everybody has their own sorrows to deal with, so why should I bother you with mine? But sorrows make you think, and think some more, and somehow all the thoughts need to get out. I need this blog for that, so expect a lot more from where this came.Some of you might be students like me, some of you might be working a job you love, some of you might be trapped in a cubical that seems to have more than four walls, and some of you might be living your own happy lifestyle far away in your own little Mägíç Lând. I hope you are happy, all of you, but I know better than to expect this. If you are a student like me, you might just face the same things I face reguarly..I'm I doing the right study? Where is all my money going... Do I really like this...?
I can't work a fulltime job under a so called 'boss' in a so called 'office'.I don't look down on anyone who can do this while being happy, but I simply can't. So, what then will I do? Nothing? That's no fun, and not possible, since the big bosses that claim to run our lifes do want to see money... I want to be a musician, singing my stories wherever I go, dancing on my own tunes... But they won't let me. I have to pay for my happiness, or they'll take away all I love...
Oh, but then I'll just find a job I love! I like nature, music, dancing, writing, I like a lot of stuff! Oh... But you won't pay me to do that? But, what do I do then? Suck it up and take a 40 hour job I hate anyway? I'll have money to do fun things... Yeah but... I don't want a big house or an expensive car... I just want to be me, happy little May in her happy little Mägíç Lând with her happy little friends. What, you're saying that's just not how life goes, it is what it is? But, I want it to, why should I conform? I might only have one life to live, who are you, or anyone to tell me what to do with it?
A lot of questions, and honestly, as soon as I find the answer you'll be the first to know, because I simply do not have them right now. I merely have suggestions... So what can we do? Conform? I'm sorry, that is really not something I can do. It's the free pagan energy that pulses through my veins that make me run wild.
So what is there left to do but live day by day? It isn't always fun, it's actually really really hard, but it might just make you end up in exactly the place you're supposed to be. You have to fight to make yourself happy. I refuse to look in the mirror 60 years from now, and see that life has passed me by. I want to see the journey in my eyes, my map in the folds on my skin, the ink that marks times gone by. I want to see that I have lived, not merely existed.
So what do you do? Quit your studies, leave everything behind and simply go? You could. You could change studies to something you really like too, something you can be self-employed in, so you have more freedom. You could also go on, and on, and on, and die...
Really, you could do numerous of things, you just have to find out what works for you. But this is one of the hardest things. You don't know if you're decision is right, but all you want is to be happy... It's worth the try right?
Ask people for advice, people who have been there; Free souls doing what they love. Don't be ashamed to simply write e-mails to people you might not even know that well to ask for advice, or how they have come where they are now. They might have once been in your position; the feeling of despair and arms grabbing you to keep you down. They might want to offer you some advice.
Ask nature for help. Dance in the forest while rain or sunshine hits your body. Dance to the music the birds make, sing with the trees, swim in the air, feel what really matters. feel the energy that nature gives you. Hold that feeling, and put it into your daily life. The happy extatic feeling is there, so why wouldn't you be allowed to feel it every day? Fight for it, be happy.
Do things you love, and find a way to do that. Work as hard as you possibly can, and faith might turn in your favour. It won't be easy, it won't ever be easy! But it will be worth it.
Why am I writing this right now? It's something I think about a lot. I won't let my utter downs be as extreme as my absurd ups. I want to be happy, and I am! I am one happy shining little faerie. But you know what it is? Other people aren't. And they want to take us with them in their downfall. They won't leave you alone! It's their job to make you do things for them. They need your money to have a fake feeling of impeding happiness, and they'll make you think the same. Don't fall for it. Be your free self, be happy.
I have amazing people around me to look up to, to take as an example. This weekend I had a weekend of non stop dancing in Enschede. It makes me so fully loaded with energy of pure and undeniable happiness. All the worries leave your bodies through the movements. You receive the energy of your dancepartner, of the music, of the people dancing around you, and together you make something happen. And then I think... Why should I ever settle for a feeling less than this? Of course, life will still throw it's nonsense, but with energy like this flowing through my veins, it will be neutralised and forgotten. It will be ok, as long as I work hard.
It's easier to lock yourself in a cage which is held wide open for you when outside of that cage there's nothing but pain as far as the eye can see. But beyond what the eye sees, is what the heart sees. And to reach that, you must walk past the cage and into the dark abyss, to look for the lands unknown by the eye. Folow your heart.
No matter what it is that makes you happy (it could very well BE your job!), do it.
Love, May
So what is there left to do but live day by day? It isn't always fun, it's actually really really hard, but it might just make you end up in exactly the place you're supposed to be. You have to fight to make yourself happy. I refuse to look in the mirror 60 years from now, and see that life has passed me by. I want to see the journey in my eyes, my map in the folds on my skin, the ink that marks times gone by. I want to see that I have lived, not merely existed.
So what do you do? Quit your studies, leave everything behind and simply go? You could. You could change studies to something you really like too, something you can be self-employed in, so you have more freedom. You could also go on, and on, and on, and die...
Really, you could do numerous of things, you just have to find out what works for you. But this is one of the hardest things. You don't know if you're decision is right, but all you want is to be happy... It's worth the try right?
Ask people for advice, people who have been there; Free souls doing what they love. Don't be ashamed to simply write e-mails to people you might not even know that well to ask for advice, or how they have come where they are now. They might have once been in your position; the feeling of despair and arms grabbing you to keep you down. They might want to offer you some advice.
Ask nature for help. Dance in the forest while rain or sunshine hits your body. Dance to the music the birds make, sing with the trees, swim in the air, feel what really matters. feel the energy that nature gives you. Hold that feeling, and put it into your daily life. The happy extatic feeling is there, so why wouldn't you be allowed to feel it every day? Fight for it, be happy.
Do things you love, and find a way to do that. Work as hard as you possibly can, and faith might turn in your favour. It won't be easy, it won't ever be easy! But it will be worth it.
Why am I writing this right now? It's something I think about a lot. I won't let my utter downs be as extreme as my absurd ups. I want to be happy, and I am! I am one happy shining little faerie. But you know what it is? Other people aren't. And they want to take us with them in their downfall. They won't leave you alone! It's their job to make you do things for them. They need your money to have a fake feeling of impeding happiness, and they'll make you think the same. Don't fall for it. Be your free self, be happy.
I have amazing people around me to look up to, to take as an example. This weekend I had a weekend of non stop dancing in Enschede. It makes me so fully loaded with energy of pure and undeniable happiness. All the worries leave your bodies through the movements. You receive the energy of your dancepartner, of the music, of the people dancing around you, and together you make something happen. And then I think... Why should I ever settle for a feeling less than this? Of course, life will still throw it's nonsense, but with energy like this flowing through my veins, it will be neutralised and forgotten. It will be ok, as long as I work hard.
It's easier to lock yourself in a cage which is held wide open for you when outside of that cage there's nothing but pain as far as the eye can see. But beyond what the eye sees, is what the heart sees. And to reach that, you must walk past the cage and into the dark abyss, to look for the lands unknown by the eye. Folow your heart.
No matter what it is that makes you happy (it could very well BE your job!), do it.
Love, May
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